Christmas Poem

Christmas Poem
By Mark
December 2008

In a house
By a window
in a stable
there is a manger.
In that Manger there is a Baby.

A long time ago
Under a star
In a town
By an inn
There is a stable.
In that stable there is a baby.

In that stable
Between the shepherds
behind the cows
and donkeys
There is a Baby
That baby is named Jesus.

Merry Christmas

The Battle

 I wrote this poem last year and never shared it 🙂

The Battle 

Oh! How they sought us,


Oh! How they fought us,

thirsting for blood.

We are strong and they,

they are weak.

Weak and thirsting.

They fell left and right

weak but thirsting for blood.

Th’o we killed many

as they searched for blood,

still they came,

searching for blood.

We left, retreated, from the field.

Left them looking.

We left, to itch our welts.

Let them look, look for blood.

I shall return,

for my blood they shall yearn

but they shall not touch me,

me and my mosquito spray!

Why Grandma should go Paragliding with me.

Flying above a Barbarian Horde.
Flying above a Barbarian Horde.

I would like to go paragliding more then snorkeling mostly because it sounds neater.  I think that fewer people go paragliding. I do not know the numbers, but you don’t see camps taking the kids on paragliding trips.

Perhaps the reason Grandma should go paragliding with me is to get away from the snakes. When snorkeling you are in danger of encountering both water snakes and the everyday snakes you find on land. When paragliding you only really need to look out for them when you take off and land. The only times you need to look out for flying snakes are when you are in the Amazon or above a Barbarian Horde that is lobbing snakes over castle walls. I don’t know the numbers, but I don’t think those happen very often.

Grandma, shall we schedule a paragliding trip soon?

The Ballad Of Sir Joseph

The dragons they circled
The dragons they flew
The dragons they bit
The houses they burned
The flames licked the sky

His visor flipped down
His lance was long
His sword strong
His sword was sharp
He rode down ready

Ready for anything
Ready for Goblins
Ready for trolls
Ready for monsters
Ready for dragons

His armor glowed red
Red from the flames
Dragonfire burned
Burned around him
But he feared it not

The blade it rode
The dragon heads fell
Tho his armor was strong
The talons tore through
And he fell

The dragon rose high
Prepared to strike
The blade was shattered
He readied to die
The dragon struck

A bell rang
The lad’s eyes opened
The bell rang
Time to get up
Time to prepare for school


Upside Down Tea


Once upon a time a young lord went foxhunting. His name was Bob (I think). As he was riding though the woods (a little lost, I must admit) he ran into a stick that flipped him off his horse (poor guy). When he came to he was tied up in what seemed to be a smuggler’s cave (and for a very good reason). He heard footsteaps behind him and he turned, there stood a person who seemed to be a smuggler boss (And for a very good reason).
“Do you know where you were?”
“Perhaps.” (Bob had in fact, forgotten about the foxhunt.)
Bob looked down at his clothes.
“You don’t remember?”
“Do you say anything other then ‘perhaps’?”
Bob’s eyes twinkled, though the rest of his expression never changed.

The Smuggler turned on his heel and walked out yelling something to his gang (“Not the biggest” he had always said, “but too many people and word will get out.”)

“Alright Kala and Kaylor, you two brought him here, you guard him!”

“I thought we were going to help pick the goods up tonight.” A feminine voice whined.

“Not anymore.”

The clicking of heels came down the tunnel and two nearly identical young ladies appeared (They were identical twins, but haircuts and scars provided simple ways to identify them).

“Hello Ladies.” Bob said and attempted a slight bow (Something that is hard to do tied up).

Kala (or Kaylor, he was not sure at the moment) kicked him.

“Shutup you idiot.”

“Yah, you ruined our plans.”

“I am sorry about any incon–” He was awarded with another kick.


The rest of the cave went silent, the smugglers seemed to have left (and for a very good reason). The two ladies pulled out some cards and began playing.

“It seems to be nearly tea time?” Bob asked.

Kala looked at her watch. “It does.”

When they made no move to get any Bob asked for some.


“I don’t function properly without my Tea.”




Bob continued bugging them until they finally gave in on one condition. “We get to tie you up the way we want to.”


Kala went to get the tea stuff (Buried under all sorts of smuggled goods) while Kaylor wrapped rope around his feet. When the water was on to boil Kala came and looped the end of the rope to a hook on the ceiling, then together they pulled it so his feet were next to it.

The teapot whistled. “The water is hot, put the leaves in would you?”

Kaylor chuckled, “Think you can drink like that?”

Bob nodded and watched eagerly as the tea steeped. Kala grinned as she poured the tea into a cup, “Milk and sugar?”

“Yes, two lumps please.”

Kala handed the cup to Bob who sipped it and smiled (although to draw it it looked more like a frown), “Perfect.”

Kala and Kaylor looked at each other, surprised.

The pot was half way finished when the door shattered and policemen poured in, capturing the Smugglers (Surprise, surprise).

At the station they asked Bob about his experience. “They make good tea,” was all he said. (He really liked tea.)

The Backpacking Princess

While we were on our backpacking trip, Megan having a hard time keeping up. So I told her, if she could keep up with me, I would tell her a story. I started it, and for the rest of the trip we made up more of it. Unfortunately, we can’t remember the whole story, but here is what we do remember.

The Backpacking Princess

Backpacking princess

One upon a time a little princess was born. Her mommy and daddy named her the wrong thing! They named her Louretta. One day her fairy Godmother came over and said, “What’s with her name? She should have been named The Backpacking Princess.”

One day when she was about five, her carriage broke down on her way to her grandparent’s house. She needed to get out and walk for two miles in the woods to get help from Little Red Riding Hood. She found she enjoyed hiking so much that she wanted to do it all the time. And so her mommy and daddy took her backpacking lots. Everyone remembered what her fairy Godmother had said and soon no one called her “Louretta” anymore.

Then she was sixteen she went backpacking by herself one day and came across a huge, mean Dragon. It said, “Yummy a Princess! She can cook her backpacking meals for me and when they are gone, I can eat her!”

So he took her to his cave and made her cook all her food, the rice breakfasts, the jerky lunches, the yummy dehydrated chili dinners and even the Upside Down cake. She was not very happy with him. When she ran out of food the dragon giggled and flew off to get wood for a princess roast fire.

The backpacking princess cried because she wanted to see her mommy and daddy again. Then she made plans. It was winter and there were lots of big icicles in the mouth of the cave. She tiptoed to one and broke it off. She waited for the dragon.

He came and she sprang, stabbing him in the chest. The ice melted and the dragon fell dead and so the Backpacking princess got back home.

One day, years later, she was hiking in the mountains and a great big, ugly, ogre grabbed her.  “Ho ho ho!” He said. “A princess! She will make a nice dessert.” (Roast princess is a delicacy among monsters) He took her to a cave and locked her in a cage. He started a fire and got ready to roast her.

Meanwhile, in another part of the forest, Prince Forest Ranger was walking when he smelled smoke. Now because it was so dry there he decided to check it out. He found it coming from a cave in the side of a mountain. He walked in to tell the camper to put it out but it was an ogre who would not.

“Put it out or I will.”

The ogre hit him over the head with a huge branch. But the prince was wearing a hat made for just that occasion. “It’s not nice to hit people on the head.”

The Ogre hit him again so the prince kicked him in the shins. “Stop that!”

The ogre fell into a trapdoor in his cave and fell down the mountain.  Prince Forest Ranger ran over to the cage The Backpacking Princess was in and asked if she was ok.

“Yes. Can you get me out?”

The prince attempted to unlock it with his knife but it did not work. “I already tried, it looks easier on TV.”

“I am going to get my brother, He is a locksmith.”

“Is he really? What’s his name?”

“Shh.” The Prince ordered as he walked to the end of the cave with his radio. “This is Prince Forest Ranger, I need my brother, Prince Locksmith. I am halfway up Beech Mount, in a cave. A ogre has a princess locked in a cage.”

“Rodger, Rodger will bring him in helicopter.”

“Thank you.”

The two sat and talked as the waited and found they had a lot in common. The helicopter landed and the princess was freed. The backpacking Princess and Prince Forest Ranger got married and lived happily ever after, right?

No, not quite, you see while they were hiking during their honeymoon, the prince heard a snarl in the rocks in front of them. The Princess screamed and the prince felt claws digging into his back. He spun and fell, looking up into the hard green eyes of a giant mountain lion. He struggled but could not escape. He heard a clanging. And a scream.

“Get off of my husband!”

The lion looked up and got the Backpacking Princess’ lightweight cooking pot in his face. He rolled over to claw at her which allowed the prince to draw his bushcraft sword and chop the creature’s head off.

Then they continued on their trip and lived happily ever after.

The moral of this story is, when you are hiking in Faerie Land, always bring at least one cast iron pot.


Snowman news

Humpty Dumpty has another big fall!

Humpty Dumpty was seriously injured  as he attempted to fix a leak on the town hall’s roof.

Little Bo Peep was looking for her sheep and she saw what happened.

“So I looked up and saw Humpty Dumpty, but I didn’t think much as he always falls off of the wall. Then I saw the other snowman come up behind him.” We asked what happened  next but she thought that he was helping Humpty and she rounded the corner and missed what happened next.

“The next thing I heard was Humpty Dumpty yelling so I ran back and saw the stranger going down the ladder and Humpty Dumpty on the ground.”

An amateur photographer was there (this one always seems to be around when this type of thing happens) and she was photographing the building for her website.  She got photos of the attack.

The attacker is named Bob Snow. It is said that he is a cohort of Mr. C.T Dummy who is still at large. Both are very dangerous.

The King’s men say that they cannot put  Humpty together again but he should be fine after a few months of hospitalization at the North Pole.

For more info on Mr C.T Dummy go to  The MANnequin News.

S.A.M (Secret Agent Megan)

It was a normal day at headquarters–that means very loud!!

I decided to get some tea so I walked over to Andrea. Andrea makes very good tea. Because she is very tall I looked up at her with my big blue eyes that she just can’t resist! And I asked “pleeeeese”!  Andrea gave me some tea “yum”!

After the tea I went for a walk. I decided to go to one of my favorite places a tree that was tapped! I wanted a drink so I took the lid off and put the tube in my mouth. That is when I saw that the bucket was empty!

Last time I went to that tree the bucket was full. That means I needed to solve a case! Continue reading S.A.M (Secret Agent Megan)

The MANnequin news

Amateur photographer gets photo of attempted murder!

DR  C.T Dummy was seriously injured when bungee jumping off Banister Cliff last night.

An amateur photographer who was coming to get photos of the bungee jump meet saw it happen. She says; “I was practicing to get some good shots of my favorite jumper, Jumping Jack Nimble, when I noticed the scissors! I yelled for Policeman Boy Blue and he sounded the horn from there.”

Boy Blue says ; “I was trying to get the cows out of the cornfield when I heard  the photographer yell.  I ran over and saw Mr C.T Dummy running away from the scene of the crime. I called  for backup but we could not find him.”

The suspect was last seen on Banister Cliff last night. He is just under 5″ tall, bald and has crash test symbols all over him. If you see him notify authorizes immediately.

DR C.T Dummy will be ok but will be hospitalized for days.


Rustle Rustle. Eight coyotes walk across a dry buffalo waller. As they cross it, one of them smells Pronghorn. They follow the smell.

The Pronghorns are grazing quietly when suddenly, a coyote leaps out at the closest one!  The Pronghorn kicks it and the rest of the coyotes attack! The other Pronghorns leap away to safety.

Later, a mouse nibbles on a partly eaten Pronghorn. A raccoon walks up and starts eating. The mouse hides. The raccoon takes another bite right where the mouse is hiding. Crunch!!!!  The raccoon has accidentally bit the mouses body off.  Soon the raccoon walks off and a Coyote, who  returns after looking for something better then day old  Pronghorn, pounces on the raccoon.

Here is the real story. At our house we find  raccoon skulls,  we have at least two. One day I was exploring with my friends the Seller’s and we found a deer  skull –it turned in to a Pronghorn in this story.  When we went to Colorado Uncle Bill gave me a Coyote and a mouse skull.

A few days before we left Colorado, we went exploring to get neat pictures of the Coyote skull. We saw dog –or were those Coyote?– tracks. When we got back to where we were staying,  we learned that Aunt Francis had just called to tell Oma that there were seven coyotes nearby in Aunt Catherine’s yard!!! She said not to let the kids play outside.  We had not seen the coyotes, but we did see lots of really good tracks!